You walk into your tita's house for a family gathering. The smell of adobo and pancit hits you immediately. Lola is in the corner, aunties are gossiping in the kitchen, and your cousins are already eyeing the lechon.
Then comes the moment you dread: relatives start speaking to you in Tagalog, and you freeze.
If this sounds familiar, you're not alone. For heritage learners, family gatherings are simultaneously the most motivating reason to learn Tagalog and the most stressful test of whatever you've learned.
This guide covers the essential phrases you actually need—not textbook Tagalog, but real phrases for surviving (and maybe even enjoying) Filipino family events.
Arriving and Greeting Elders
First impressions matter, especially with older relatives. The key is showing respect through "po" and "opo"—small words that signal you understand Filipino values.
"Mano po." The traditional gesture of taking an elder's hand to your forehead. Say this as you do it. Even if your Tagalog is terrible, doing mano correctly earns major respect points.
"Kumusta po kayo?" "How are you?" (respectful). Use this with anyone older than you or anyone you're meeting for the first time. The "po" matters.
"Magandang hapon po." / "Magandang gabi po." "Good afternoon." / "Good evening." Simple but effective openers before diving into conversation.
"Nandito na po ako." "I'm here now." Useful when announcing your arrival, especially if you were expected.
"Pasensya na po, late ako." "Sorry, I'm late." Because Filipino time is a thing, but apologizing is still polite.
Surviving the Tita Interrogation
You know it's coming. The rapid-fire questions about your job, relationship status, weight, and life choices. Here's how to respond without panicking.
"Mabuti naman po." "I'm doing well." Your default response to "Kumusta?" that buys you time.
"Busy po sa work." "Busy with work." The universal excuse that ends most follow-up questions.
"Single pa po." / "May boyfriend/girlfriend na po ako." "Still single." / "I have a boyfriend/girlfriend now." Brace for follow-up questions either way.
"Kumakain lang po nang maayos." "I'm just eating well." A diplomatic response to comments about your weight (whether you've gained or lost).
"Balang araw po." "Someday." The perfect vague answer for questions about marriage, kids, or moving back to the Philippines.
"Sige po, magkukuwento ako mamaya." "Okay, I'll tell the story later." Delays detailed explanations until you can escape.
Food-Related Phrases (The Most Important Section)
Filipino gatherings revolve around food. Knowing how to compliment the cooking is possibly the most strategic Tagalog you can learn.
"Ang sarap!" "So delicious!" Use liberally and sincerely. This single phrase has saved many heritage learners.
"Sino po ang nagluto nito?" "Who cooked this?" Follow up "Ang sarap!" with this to direct your compliment to the right person.
"Puwede pa po ba?" / "Puwede po bang humingi ng isa pa?" "Can I have more?" / "Can I ask for one more?" Music to any Filipino cook's ears.
"Busog na busog na po ako." "I'm so full." Said with a satisfied expression, this is the highest compliment.
"Mamaya na lang po ako kakain ulit." "I'll eat again later." Because you will. There's no escaping second (or third) meals.
"Ang galing po magluto!" "You're such a great cook!" Direct compliment that guarantees you'll get extra food packed to take home.
"May baon ba akong uuwi?" "Do I have food to take home?" Half-joking, half-serious. The answer is always yes.
Talking to Lola and Lolo
Conversations with grandparents are often the most meaningful—and most challenging. They may speak older Tagalog, regional dialects, or simply expect more formality.
"Kumusta po ang kalusugan ninyo?" "How is your health?" Shows you care about more than small talk.
"Kwentuhan ninyo po ako." / "Ano po ang mga kwento ninyo?" "Tell me stories." / "What are your stories?" Inviting them to share opens up treasured conversations.
"Namimiss ko po kayo." "I miss you." Simple but powerful, especially if you don't see them often.
"Pasensya na po, hindi ko po maintindihan." "Sorry, I don't understand." Better to admit than pretend. Most grandparents will happily repeat or explain.
"Puwede po bang ulit-ulitin?" "Can you repeat that?" Useful when they speak too fast or use unfamiliar words.
"Turuan ninyo po ako." "Please teach me." Grandparents often love being asked to teach Tagalog. It's bonding and learning combined.
Navigating Group Conversations
When multiple relatives are talking at once (in Tagalog, at high volume, possibly about you), these phrases help you participate.
"Ano po ang pinag-uusapan?" "What are you all talking about?" Helps you join mid-conversation without completely lost.
"Sandali lang po." "Just a moment." Buys you time to process what was just said.
"Totoo ba yan?" "Is that true?" / "Really?" Shows engagement even when you only caught part of the conversation.
"Ay nako!" An exclamation of surprise, exasperation, or emphasis. Extremely versatile. Master the tone variations.
"Siyempre naman!" "Of course!" Agreement that sounds natural and confident.
"Hindi ko alam, eh." "I don't know." Honest and casual. The "eh" softens it.
Saying Goodbye (It Takes Forever)
Filipino goodbyes are famously long. You'll announce you're leaving, then stay another 45 minutes. These phrases help you navigate the process.
"Aalis na po kami." "We're leaving now." The opening statement. Expect it to be challenged.
"Salamat po sa lahat." "Thank you for everything." Genuine gratitude for the hosting, food, and company.
"Ingat po kayo." "Take care." What you say to elders as you leave.
"Ingat ka." / "Ingat kayo." "Take care." What others will say to you, repeatedly, at every stage of leaving.
"Sa uulitin po!" "Until next time!" Expresses that you're looking forward to the next gathering.
"Magkita-kita po tayo ulit." "Let's see each other again." Warmer and more personal than just "goodbye."
"Pa-uwi na po kami." "We're heading home now." A gentle reminder after the first goodbye attempt didn't work.
Handling Language Anxiety
Even with all these phrases memorized, you'll freeze sometimes. Here's how to recover gracefully.
"Pasensya na, nag-aaral pa lang ako." "Sorry, I'm still learning." Most relatives will respond with encouragement, not criticism.
"Puwede po bang mag-English?" "Can we speak English?" Not a failure—sometimes mixing languages is more natural.
"Intindihin mo ako ha?" "Bear with me, okay?" Said with a smile, this invites patience.
"Ang hirap ng Tagalog!" "Tagalog is so hard!" A little self-deprecating humor goes a long way.
Remember: making an effort matters more than perfection. Relatives who see you trying will be far more supportive than you expect.
Practice Before You Go
Reading phrases is one thing; producing them under pressure is another. Here's how to prepare:
Day before the gathering: Review this list. Pick 5-10 phrases you're most likely to use and practice saying them out loud.
Day of: During the drive over, mentally rehearse your greeting strategy. Who will you see first? What will you say?
During: Don't try to be perfect. Use what you can, ask for help when stuck, and celebrate small wins.
After: Note which phrases worked and which you forgot. Practice those for next time.
Tahanan's AI conversation practice is perfect for this kind of preparation. You can simulate greeting elders, responding to tita questions, and navigating family conversations—all without the pressure of real relatives watching.
Your Family Wants You to Try
Here's the truth that anxiety makes us forget: your family wants you to speak Tagalog. They're not waiting to judge your mistakes—they're hoping you'll try.
Every mangled phrase, every confused look, every nervous "Puwede po bang ulit-ulitin?" is proof that you care about your heritage. That effort means more to your relatives than any amount of perfect English ever could.
So go to that gathering. Stumble through greetings. Compliment the food with genuine enthusiasm. Let your Lola correct your pronunciation (she'll love it).
Your heritage language isn't a test to pass. It's a connection to reclaim, one family gathering at a time.
Kaya mo yan. (You can do it.)